


I have never known myself without him

by drelfina



Category: Naruto
Genre: Founders Era, Incest, M/M, Tobirama has only ever known him with Hashirama but he won't have it any other way, a Hashirama/Tobirama study, read the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drelfina/pseuds/drelfina
Summary: He has defined himself against him in so many ways, has known him all his life, that without him, there is no way that Tobirama can know himself.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Senju Tobirama
Comments: 42
Kudos: 123





	I have never known myself without him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evocates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evocates/gifts).



He has defined himself against him in so many ways, has known him all his life, that without him, there is no way that Tobirama can know himself.

* * *

"Anija." 

Hashirama looked up at him, and smiled, that warm deep almost _mossy_ green of him shining through his eyes. "Welcome back, Tobirama. Have you been to the medics?" 

"Of course." He put his papers down on his desk, warm sun slanting in from the western window over his folders and various scrolls. "It was an easy mission."

"Hm." 

But when he settled down on his chair, he could feel it shift, curl and cradle, conforming to his spine and Tobirama relaxed just a moment. 

"And straight back to work." 

"Of course, Anija. The paperwork never stops." And he kept his gaze down, focused on the words in front of him, even as the warmth of his Anija's chakra caressed his cheek, a perfect pulse of his Anija's presence and warm, warm regard. 

_I'm here_.

* * *

"Aniki~" 

"You're up to something," Madara said, rolling his shoulders and shrugging Izuna's arm off him. "What do you want?" 

"Aaah," Izuna said, flopping over and almost bowling into Tobirama's side. "Why would I want something, Aniki?" Tobirama took another step to his right and Izuna almost fell into the pile of oranges. 

"Don't bruise the produce, Izuna," Tobirama murmured. 

"Aaaarhg, Niisan! You shoved me!" 

"You only ever call me Aniki when you want something," Madara said, but he was reaching forward to grab Izuna by the arm. 

"Lies. Liar. I never do that, do I do that, Senju?" 

Tobirama shrugged. The Uchiha brothers were close - everyone could see it, Madara gruff with his attention and Izuna cheerful and loud - it was not something Tobirama was used to. Could be _used_ to. Putting such - brotherly feeling and behaviour in public display... 

"Oh there you are, Madara. Tobirama." And even though he _knew_ Hashirama was here, was close by, it _Still_ made his skin warm, send a shiver down his spine when Hashirama's arm draped over his shoulder. "I'd been looking all over for you! The Akimichi said that there was an issue with the produce lines -" 

"Hashirama," Madara said. "Did you literally track me down on my day off to talk about this?" 

Tobirama made himself slip down, under and away from Hashirama's arm, knowing that Hashirama's focus was on Madara, his _best friend_. 

"I shall leave you and Madara to deal with that, then, Anija," Tobirama said, and for a brief moment, he could feel the full force of Hashirama's focus turn back to him, a brief burst of sunshine, a brush of Hashirama's knuckles against the curve of his cheek, then Tobirama was too far away for him to touch. 

"Oh, right, I'll see you back in the office then, Tobirama!" 

Tobirama nodded curtly, heading back towards the Hokage Tower, noting absently the light brushing of grass against his ankles, Anija's constant awareness of Tobirama.

The Uchiha brothers had the proper, normal, brotherly relationship, he knew. as boistrous and affectionate as it could be in public and in private - for all that the Uchiha were _shinobi_ , they weren't very subtle, everything written in their actions and words. 

Nothing private, he thought, as he curled his knuckles against his office doorframe, brushing against it and feeling the faint pulse of Hashirama's constant attention. Everything out in the open - unlike this. 

Where it was just for him, secret, safe. 

When he walked into the office, and splayed his hand on the surface of his desk, he could _feel_ Hashirama's warm, perfect, _personal_ regard. 

Only a few more hours, he thought, then he'd go home to Hashirama. 

He allowed himself a smile, because he was alone here, it was _private_. 

_Soon_.

* * *

"I'm home." 

Tobirama got up from the kotatsu, pushing the blanket off from his shoulders. "It's late." 

"Aah, and it's _freezing_ outside," Hashirama said, shedding his sandals to pad in, soft on the tatami and folding himself down right at the spot that Tobirama had vacated. 

"If you had stayed out any longer..." 

"Would you have sent wolves after me?" Hashirama smiled, wide and lopsided, ridiculously beloved, as Tobirama put a cup in front of him, and leaned over to pour. 

"I might have. Hatake Sai does owe me a favour." 

"How many of them owe you favours?" Hashirama said, watching Tobirama - and he could _feel_ his regard, his gaze, tangible, tracing his own form. 

"So many," Tobirama said. 

And Hashirama reached out, fingers curling over Tobirama's before he could let go of the teapot. 

"Tobirama." 

And it had been. Oh it had been days on the road, just him and his breaths and his own heartbeat, his mind and senses honed towards Konoha. Towards - 

_Him_.

It was just a touch, his brother's fingers on his, warm pulse of his chakra, green gold _amber_ , warm and perfect and Tobirama folded gracefully down to his knees.

"Nii-chan," he said, ever so softly, and shivered when Hashirama's other hand reached up to curl against his cheek. 

" _Tobira._ " His brother's chakra _flared_ , deep huge and _rich_ with everything that Tobirama could read and feel, and it was all there, written in a language he didn't have to speak, didn't have to _say_ , had known even before he'd learned to open his _eyes_.

It was nothing at all but to lean into him, his brother, tip his head up as he drew close and fit against Hashirama's side, and shiver as Hashirama's touch shifted to curve warm and safe against his nape. 

" _Nii-chan_." Lips against hashirama's ear now, his jaw, and he let his eyes shut. "I'm home." 

The floor shifted, a little tatami softening and parting to curve up away from his knees, letting him lean in closer against Hashirama, fit against him like he'd known all his life. The only way he had ever known to be. 

"Welcome home, Tobira."

**Author's Note:**

> So these are some lyrics and their translations by Evocates, and i was INSPIRED. 
> 
> 真相是真
> 
> 我身边只他一个  
> 却敢去没天光的 疯狂梦境  
> 是他陪我流血破皮  
> 陪我失眠时交换着回忆  
> 也因他才成就我  
> 换别人就失去结局  
> There is only ever him beside me  
> As we headed towards that wild, sunless dream  
> He's beside me as I bled  
> And as we lost sleep we made memories  
> It's only of him that I fulfilled my dreams  
> And if it had ever been someone else, I would not have this ending
> 
> 我真的陪他淋过大雨  
> 真陪他冬季夏季  
> 真的与他拥抱黑暗里  
> 真牵过他的手臂  
> 我共他飞过地球万里  
> 也一起熬梦想朝不保夕  
> 曾躲进了长街寂静  
> 承诺只去有对方的 前程似锦
> 
> 那些被窥探到的所谓温柔证据  
> 其实不过万分之一  
> 在无人的角落里  
> 有更多浪漫秘密  
> All of the shows of affection that you see  
> Are truly only one of millions  
> In the corners where no one sees  
> There are so many romantic secrets
> 
> 我真的陪他聊到黎明  
> 真的同他最默契  
> 真的记得他所有怪癖  
> 真的最害怕分离  
> I really did accompany him to talk until daybreak  
> Really have with him the strongest chemistry  
> I really do remember all of his strange habits  
> Really am terrified of separating
> 
> 可我只看向他眼底  
> 而千万人欢呼什么 我不关心  
> I see only his eyes  
> All of those million voices shout, but I care for none of it
> 
> * * *
> 
> Edited to just swap the sections around, it reads better to me that way. :P


End file.
